Babies and such

I have two nephews now. One is really my half nephew, born in August. And the other isn't blood but he counts anyway, and he was born on Saturday. AND, Naomi is pregnant too...so I'll be having another little baby around in the next 6 or so months.

All this baby stuff makes me all melancholy. I really want a baby of my own, or so I think. It scares the hell out of me, and I KNOW I could not have one right now. But I think I would actually like being a mommy. If I found the right guy...maybe I could have a family. I don't know. I thought I was set on not marrying and all that, but who knows. I mean, I'm pretty sure I want to finish college and start a career before all that. Maybe it's simply because I'm a woman and have those feelings spurt out because of different circumstances. Psh. Whatever.

I just love babies. I love the idea of having a family and a husband. I think I would be a good wife. Maybe too good. I give too much of myself a lot of the time, which is why sometimes I hold back. When I give too much to someone undeserving, I end up being used. That's why I couldn't marry a man that wouldn't give back to me...otherwise I'd end up being what I don't want to be, I'd end up hurt, and I wouldn't be happy. I guess a big problem is finding that right guy. The majority of guys I've dated or simply known just dont fit the bill.

Anyway, ramble ramble. I'm tired.